尊敬語 (Sonkeigo): Respectful Language in Japanese

When one of my students first sits down with a Japanese client, the feedback is almost always the same: "I understood every word, but I didn't know how to respond politely." That's the absence of sonkeigo. In the Japanese keigo system, 尊敬語 is the layer with which you elevate another person's actions.

An important principle to establish from the start: sonkeigo always refers to the OTHER person's action. If you're the one doing something, sonkeigo is never an option.

Because sonkeigo is the linguistic imprint of the Japanese social system. In a Japanese office, a significant part of daily communication happens in respectful forms, and anyone who doesn't use them isn't considered a good colleague — regardless of how skilled a professional they are.

What's more, sonkeigo is one of the most searchable, most systematic areas. By learning a few patterns and roughly fifteen irregular verbs, your Japanese instantly moves to a different league.

A keigo a leggyakoribb pont, ahol az önálló tanulás megreked, mert itt a visszajelzés nélkülözhetetlen. Ha munkahelyi helyzetekre készülsz, a vállalati japán nyelvórákon valós szituációkban — telefonos ügyintézés, e-mail, tárgyalás — gyakoroljuk az udvariassági szinteket.

Let's look at the formation rules in order, by strength of politeness.

• 1. Passive form: 書く → 書かれる, 来る → 来られる. Mild respect, common among colleagues.
• 2. お + masu-stem + になる: 書く → お書きになる, 使う → お使いになる. This is the strong, classic form.
• 3. ご + noun of Chinese origin + になる: 利用する → ご利用になる, 説明する → ご説明になる.
• 4. お／ご + masu-stem + ください: for requests — お待ちください, ご確認ください.
• 5. ～ていらっしゃる: for ongoing actions — お待ちになっていらっしゃる／待っていらっしゃる.

For single-syllable or short verbs, the お + masu-stem pattern doesn't work (e.g. 見る, 寝る). For these we use either the irregular form or the passive.

• いる／行く／来る → いらっしゃる (+ おいでになる)
• 言う → おっしゃる
• 食べる／飲む → 召し上がる
• 見る → ご覧になる
• する → なさる
• くれる → くださる
• 知っている → ご存じだ
• 着る → お召しになる
• 寝る → お休みになる
• 死ぬ → お亡くなりになる

Pay attention to the ます-forms: いらっしゃる, おっしゃる, なさる, くださる irregularly become いらっしゃいます, おっしゃいます, なさいます, くださいます — not いらっしゃります.

• In all communication with clients, guests, and customers.
• With superiors, company management, teachers, professors.
• At a first meeting with an older, higher-ranking person.
• At official events, presentations, job interviews.
• In written business correspondence, when talking about the recipient's action.

Overdosing on sonkeigo is just as much a mistake as its absence. Avoid it in these cases:

• For your own action — never. 私がおっしゃいます = a serious mistake.
• About your own company or boss in front of an outside party (kenjougo is needed there).
• In friendly, family, or close collegial conversation — it feels unnatural.
• In double keigo: お召し上がりになられる — considered incorrect by usage guidelines.
• If your conversation partner has explicitly asked for a direct tone.

Sonkeigo isn't tied to a person, but to a relationship. The same boss can receive sonkeigo within the company and kenjougo in front of a client.

• Internal situation: 部長はもうお帰りになりました。
• In front of a client, the same situation: 部長はもう帰りました。／ 山田は席を外しております。
• The client's action: 御社の田中様がお越しになりました。

• Sonkeigo for your own action: 私が伺いにいらっしゃいます。
• Dropping ら: 社長がご覧になりますか。 instead of 社長が見れますか。
• Double keigo: おっしゃられる, ご覧になられる.
• お + masu-stem + になる with short verbs: お見になる — doesn't exist.
• Incorrect conjugation of いらっしゃる: いらっしゃります。
• Swapping sonkeigo and kenjougo within a single sentence.

• "Did you read the contract?" — 契約書をお読みになりましたか。
• "What would you like to drink?" — お飲み物は何になさいますか。
• "Please wait a moment." — 少々お待ちください。
• "Do you know Mr. Tanaka?" — 田中さんをご存じですか。
• "What time will you arrive?" — 何時にいらっしゃいますか。
• "Please take a look at this material." — こちらの資料をご覧ください。

In lessons we drill this through role-play: you're the receptionist, I'm the arriving client — and vice versa. After two or three sessions, the irregular verbs become automatic.

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